


Remus Lupin Waits For Me In The Nuclear Fallout Zone

by rubywallace25



Series: Messrs Padfoot and Moony Are Proud to Present a Series of Romanic Disasters [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:54:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubywallace25/pseuds/rubywallace25
Summary: The Black Family Christmas as seen from the perspective of Sirius Black.A Christmas fic.Part of my series, but can be read as a stand alone story.
Relationships: Amycus Carrow/Original Male Character(s), Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Cygnus Black/Druella Rosier Black, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Orion Black/Walburga Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Messrs Padfoot and Moony Are Proud to Present a Series of Romanic Disasters [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873549
Comments: 46
Kudos: 98





	1. Madam Emma Bovary Is Done With Peter Pettigrew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aqua_myosotis_scorpioides](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqua_myosotis_scorpioides/gifts).



> I was planning on dropping this on 1st December, but hey ho...
> 
> Enjoy hopefully.

The four boys find an empty compartment and immediately set about making themselves at home, with James and Sirius snagging the window seats, while Peter settles himself next to James, while Remus sets about making his cat, Madam Emma Bovary as comfortable as possible while she is stuck in the confines of her wicker travelling basket.

"Right so, is this you buggering off now then, with Lily and the other prefects?"

Sirius asks the notes of both accusations and jealousy clear in his tone as he turns to frown up at his boyfriend.

Remus who enjoys nothing more than the thrill of confounding Sirius Black, well no that's not the only thing he enjoys doing to him, but it is one of his favourites.

"Not at all,"

Remus says as he pours himself into the seat next to him.

"Won't you get into trouble, if you're not with the other prefects?"

Peter asks, as his beady blue eyes watch Madam Emma Bovary cautiously between the bars of her cage.

She gives a little hiss, before turning her back on him with a swish of her white fluffy tail.

"What care I for rules,"

Remus exclaims, as he stretches his long legs across Sirius' lap and rests the back of his head against Madam Emma Bovary's cage.

His heart does a little leap as he watches Sirius' large grey eyes widen further still with surprise.

"Finally, you've come back to us Moony!"

He hears James chuckle.

"...besides after last time, and all your adventures with The Death Eaters,"

Peter interrupts Remus' flow with a snort of laughter, that causes the three other boys in the train compartment to stare at him.

His cheeks go pink as he attempts to explain in a small sounding voice.

"It's just, the way you said The Death Eaters, it made them sound a bit like a band."

The last time the four of them had been together on The Hogwarts Express part of the train had been blown up, and had left James, Sirius, and their fellow 6th year Gryffindors, Frank Longbottom and Dorcus Meadowes at the mercy of a pack of Death Eaters.

So not an experience any of them are keen on revisiting anytime soon.

"Anyway,"

Remus turns his attention away from Peter to look at Sirius.

"...I'm not letting you out of my sight until we are safely back in London, after that you're not my problem anymore."

Remus watches as the look of surprise in Sirius' face is replaced by a very different expression and one he has come to know fairly well.

In that moment he'd quite like to lean forward and kiss Sirius, but he's a bit too comfortable in his current position to actually move so he doesn't.

"I'm always your bloody problem."

Sirius retaliates by pinching his right thigh extremely hard.

Remus winces, which causes Sirius to grin.

"You know watching you two go at each other,"

James' choice of words earns a selection of raised eyebrows, which he of course ignores.

"...has really converted me to the idea of divorce."

With this statement concluded Sirius does the grown up thing and sticks out his tongue at his best friend.

The compartment lapses into a comfortable silence for a few moments until Sirius asks.

"Are you planning on going everywhere with me then, even the toilet?"

"Especially the toilet."

Remus replies, fixing him with a wide toothy grin.

It's with a growing sense of panic that Remus wanders the corridors of the carriage in the hopes of finding Sirius, who had left the compartment to visit the toilet some time ago and who he had neglected to follow because he'd been two busy reading one of his favourite Christmas books, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, to notice.

So here he is living up to his 'rubbish boyfriend' reputation.

And then, just as Remus finds himself walking down another ridiculously long corridor he sees the outline of Sirius Black waiting for him at the end, oh if only that was the prize after every long and arduous journey.

"Alright?"

He approaches Sirius, who is standing in front of one of the windows that line the train's corridor, and seemingly staring off into space.

Sirius appears not to hear him, so he tries again.

"Padfoot."

Cautiously he lets one hand rest on Sirius' shoulders and is taken aback as the other boy practically throws himself into his arms.

"I don't want to go!"

Sirius exclaims bitterly, while Remus panics for a completely different reason over his shoulder.

Sirius clings to him, and he clings right back.

He feels the fabric of his robes turn from bone dry to slightly moist, and he realises with a jolt that the boy in his arms is crying.

Usually it's Remus who is the cause of Sirius' tears, but this time he is entirely innocent.

He runs his hands through Sirius' luscious mane of curly dark hair and he tries his best to soothe him.

"There, there, come on."

He whispers against his skin as he pulls back to plant a kiss on Sirius' pale cheek, his tongue tasting the familiar tang of salt.

He tracks a line of kisses along Sirius' face until he finally finds his mouth, because kissing is so much easier than talking.

"I love you."

Remus repeats the words between kisses.

"Don't Pads, Sirius don't please."

He pleads desperately.

His hands find the sides of Sirius' face and lifts his gaze, their eyes finally meet, watery grey and dark hazel.

"I don't deserve this."

Sirius' words break something deep inside him, something he knows will probably stay broken for a long, long time.

"It's two weeks,"

Remus says, trying to remember exactly how James calms Sirius down whenever he's spiraling out at the prospect of returning home.

But he's not James Potter.

Sirius shakes his head and tries to pull away, but Remus tightens his grip and holds him in place, knowing as he does so that he's probably bruising the older boy's face with his finger tips.

"It's two bloody weeks, you can do this, I believe in you."

And just like that he watches as the tearful boy before him transforms into the Sirius Black that everyone thinks they know so well, brave and posturing and mad, so very mad.


	2. I Want To Tear That Christmas Jumper Right Off You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry actual December.
> 
> Rory is one of Marlene McKinnon's brothers, he's a former Slytherin and he's in a relationship with Amycus Carrow.

Amycus has been back in the flat that he shares with Rory McKinnon for weeks, three weeks to be exact, and yet his skin still bears the hint of the tan from the two months he'd spent lying low at his Grandmother's house in Spain.

It may come of some surprise to know that the pale, sallow and decidedly blonde Carrow children have Spannish blood running through their watery veins, which had been passed down to them from their Material Grandmother.

He'd enjoyed spending his days under a bright azure sky, while the heat of the sun had turned his chalk white skin increasingly blistered and red.

The only caveat to his self imposed holiday had been Rory.

In the beginning he'd had good cause to think of Rory on a daily basis, as he'd been forced to stew on a selection of sun loungers as he wondered exactly what his flatmate had told The Ministry, or if in fact he had told them anything at all.

Leaving Alice Fortescue alive had been yet another blunder.

Amycus had waited for Rory to give way, to crack, and for a team of hit wizards to turn up at his Grandmother's front door, but no-one came.

He breathed easily and soaked in the sun.

He breathed easily, soaked in the sun and realised with each day that passed that he couldn't stop thinking of Rory.

It had been as if an invisible thread had been attached to him, connecting them across the great divide of land and sea that seperated them, so that whenever Rory moved, so did some part of Amycus.

Occasionally he thought about servering the thread, but he knew what that would mean.

The truth was he hadn't been able to picture a moment in his life when he wouldn't want to see Rory's winsome, weak chinned visage.

He was in love, in love with Rory bloody McKinnon.

The elastic of his brain snaps back into place and he finds himself leaning moodily against the kitchen sink as Rory struggles into the room his Slytherin scarf bundled up to his neck, a light dusting of snow on the shoulders of his dark navy pea coat, juggling a number of presents in various sizes in his arms.

This is the man I love, he thinks to himself, who sometimes acts more like a Mudblood than a proper wizard.

"You've got a wand for that."

Amycus tells him for what feels like the four hundredth time, as he charms the presents out of Rory's arms with a wave of his own wand, depositing the parcels neatly on the kitchen table.

There they sit, the presents for The McKinnons upon the same table that Amycus frequently defiles their son/brother on.

When it comes to Rory's family it's a sliding scale on which one he dislikes the most, but probably at the bottom of the list is his Gryffindor sister Marlene, whose continued existence irks him to the core.

Amycus watches as Rory unwinds the scarf from around his neck, which is peppered with fading bruises.

He wonders how Rory will try to explain them away or if instead he will simply choose to conceal them under one of his overblown Christmas jumpers.

"I went to you vault in Gringotts."

Rory tells him as he sends a money bag flying across the kitchen, this time with the use of his wand.

Amycus catches it with ease.

What would his Mother and older brother do if they new that he'd given Rory free reign to their family bank volt.

His brother would probably kill him, both of them.

"Much obliged."

Amycus says with a wide grin, as he pushes thoughts of his brother and Mother to one side.

As Rory slides out of his coat Amycus catches sight of his jumper, which is a lurid shade of green and has a large Christmas tree knitted on the front.

He laughs.

"I see your Gran has been at it again."

He grins, nodding in the direction of the jumper.

"I'm trying to give it a bit of wear and tear, so that she doesn't think I've only worn it the once."

"I'd be happy to tear it of you."

Amycus offers, as he makes short work of the space between them.

Rory rolls his eyes, but the pretence falls away as he lets himself be wound into Amycus body, as he ducks his head down against his chest he exposes the back of his neck.

That expanse of creamy skin, the back of Rory McKinnon's neck has always done something strange and unusual to Amycus as he sinks his teeth in deep.

"Get off!"

Rory pushes him away, but despite this he finds himself smiling.

Love is a viscous beast.

He falls into one of the kitchen chairs, their chairs, because they own furniture together.

Rory is talking, but Amycus isn't really listening, instead he's watching him, because he likes to watch him, he likes to have his eye on him.

It had been during their second year lesson in Herbology on the subject of mandrakes, when Rory who had failed to secure his ear flaps correctly, had swooned dramatically into his arms that Amycus realised he was going to have a problem with him.

It had been as easy and as terrible as that.

Rory McKinnon would be his.

Rory McKinnon is his.

Rory draws the shape of something in the air with his wand, and a moment later Amycus watches something green, scarlet and woollen fly through the air and into his hand.

He throws it casually onto Amycus' lap, how holds it up and examines the Christmas jumper with a long of dismay tinged with disgust.

"What the fuck is this?"

He asks, although in truth he already knows the answer.

"I couldn't remember, which one dear old Granny McKinnon, knitted for me last year, so I need you to break that one in a bit."

"I'll break you in a bit."

Amycus warns, as he glares at the jumper.

"Promises, promises."

Rory rolls his large brown eyes, the large brown eyes that all of The McKinnons have, and then he laughs.

Despite being a Death Eater, despite being a Carrow, despite everything else, Amycus finds himself dragging the scratchy wool down over his head and pulling the Christmas jumper over his crisp white shirt.

He reaches out and grabs Rory hard by the wrist and pulls him down, roughly onto his lap.

At the look of surprise written over his features Amycus practically purrs.

"When have you ever known me not keep a promise, McKinnon?"


	3. The Dark Covers Me And I Cannot Run Now

Sirius stubbornly ignores the delicious smells that roll under the gap between his bedroom door and the uneven floorboards of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.

His stomach rumbles, the traitor.

In the middle of his bed intentionally creasing his 'best robes', Sirius is slumped onto his front and buries his head in his Divination homework.

Unlike the rest of his classmates, Sirius prefers to spend his holidays finishing off the homework he pretends to ignore the rest of the year.

He's currently working on a star chart and quills in his star sign at the top of the parchment instead of his name, Scorpio.

Add the star signs of those closest to you, is the next instruction and without thinking Sirius inks in Virgo, Aries and Gemini, for James, Remus and Peter, ignoring his parents and brother entirely.

The next instruction is to include someone you dislike and although Sirius finds himself thinking of Severus Snape, he can't remember Snape's birthday if he ever knew it at all, so instead his scratches in another Scorpio, for his Mother.

He's just turning his attention to the next question when the mirror at his elbow suddenly lights up.

"Prongsie!"

Sirius exclaims as James' face floats into view on the other side of the mirror.

Behind James, Sirius sees the flickering on a roaring fire and the outline of an impressive Christmas tree, The Potters don't do the festive season by half.

"Merry Christmas, Pads!"

James leans forward, as if trying to get a good look at Sirius' bedroom, in the end Sirius puts him out of his misery, holding up the mirror and waving it around the room so that James gets the chance to have a good look.

"Wow, so that's what your bedroom looks like! Anyone would think you were in Gryffindor."

James says referring to the various scarlet and gold banners that cover the walls.

"And may my parents never forget it."

Sirius' comment is met with a hearty laugh from his best friend.

"How are you bearing up?"

James struggles to hide the note of concern in his voice behind a wide, cheerful smile.

Briefly Sirius thinks about lying, but changes his mind since he's never been able to lie to James, with a heavy sigh he rolls onto his back and raises the mirror over him so that James is now positioned above him.

"It's just like Moony said,"

It's the first time that Sirius has allowed himself to think of his boyfriend, as if some part of him wants to keep Remus as far from Grimmald Place as possible, and always.

He never wants Remus to set foot in this miserable, oppressive house.

This determination however doesn't stop Sirius from missing him terribly.

"...it's only ten more days."

"That's the spirit!"

James is just on the point of adding something more when Sirius' bedroom door is thrust open and Regulus appears in the room breathing hard.

"What are you doing in my room!"

Sirius demands.

With his pale face and dark green robes Regulus looks utterly out of place in Sirius' bedroom, his grey eyes narrow as he regards the position of his older brother and James Potter.

A frown forms across his high forehead.

"But I thought..."

The sentence doesn't get any further, but despite this Sirius thinks he probably knows what Regulus was thinking, and it makes him oddly angry that his brother should dare to even think of Remus.

"I've got to go."

And with that Sirius stuffs his half of the mirror and leaps immediately off of his bed to loom over Regulus.

"What do you want?"

He asks in a tone he doesn't mean to sound so aggressive, but it comes out that way.

Regulus glances up at him, and he sees the hint of fear in his gaze and he wonders how much he looks like their Mother in that moment.

"Why are you hiding in my bedroom, Reg?"

He tries to soften his voice and his expression.

Regulus gives the bedroom door a quick glance, before turning back to Sirius.

His brother's pale cheeks turn a faint pink hue.

"Kreacher he,"

Regulus stumbles over his words as if not wanting to blame the house elf directly.

"...where's your hat?"

Sirius is surprised by this change of subject and he watches as Regulus' grey eyes track around the room.

It dawns on him then, what his brother is searching for and failing to find, a hat, they have one each, another Black family heirloom, and as ridiculous and overblown as the rest.

"Oh that, I chucked that out of the window."

Regulus' eyes widen in shock and his bottom lip wobbles, the way it always does whenever he has been taken by surprise.

Before Regulus has the chance to say anything Sirius' bedroom door is opened once again, and this time it's Kreacher who barges his way into the room clutching a hat between his gnarled fingers.

Kreacher gives Sirius' a watery stare before he turns his attention to the other boy in the room.

"Master Regulus must wear his hat."

The house elf steps forward and Regulus jumps immediately back.

"Do something, help me!"

Regulus pleads desperately.

The thing, which Sirius does is to settle himself on the edge of his bed as he watches Kreacher pursue Regulus around the room.

"I won't forget this."

Regulus warns him darkly as Kreacher emerges triumphant.

"This is possibly the most fun I've ever had in this house."

Sirius says with a roar of laughter.

Having successfully forced the hat onto Regulus' head, Kreacher mutters in a low rumble as he shuffles past Sirius and fixes him with a watery glare, before he leaves the room.

The doorbell rings throughout the house, and thereby demonstrates Kreacher's ability to know exactly when company apperates on to their door step.

It will be his Aunt and Uncle, Druella and Cygnus, with his cousins, and as he thinks this Sirius realises that the one highlight of spending time with his blood relations will no longer be there, because his favourite cousin Andromeda is gone.

"Have you ever met Lucius Malfoy before?"

Regulus asks in a small sounding voice that reminds Sirius of when they had both been children and his brother had developed a pathological fear of strangers visiting the house.

Of course he's heard of Lucius Malfoy, but Sirius only has the faintest idea of who he is since he'd been the head boy the year he'd gone to Hogwarts.

He shrugs back his reply, and peels himself off his crumpled sheets.

"I wouldn't worry Reg, I'm sure he'll be on his best behaviour, keen to impress the rest of the family."

Sirius tries to reassure the younger boy, who looks ridiculous in his hat.

Regulus says nothing as he to follows Kreacher obediently out of the room, Sirius is the last to leave.

He stands frozen to the spot and stares down at his pillow under which knows the mirror and his link to the outside world and more importantly James is concealed.

He does something then that he never, ever does and he allows the hopelessness he feels about be trapped in Grimmald Place wash over him.

It's not fair.

They don't want him here.

He doesn't want to be here.

Finally something they can all agree on.

"Padfoot, you're rambling."

Sirius' is started by the familiar voice in the room.

Remus is sitting in the chair in front of his cluttered desk.

He blinks.

Remus smiles.

"Moony, how are you, why are you,"

Sirius' elation gives way quickly to fear at the thought of what his 'family' would do if they discovered his queer, half-blood lover in his bedroom.

"You can't be here."

He takes a step forward, as the scars on Remus' face crease into a warm smile.

"That's alright then."

Remus observes, as he slides his hands casually behind his head and leans back in the chair.

Sirius wears a horrified expression.

"I'm not real."

Remus concludes.

"I'm not really here. I'm here because you want me to be, but I'm actually just a figment of your,"

"Sirius, come on."

With his mouth hanging open in surprise Sirius let's himself be tugged out of the bedroom by Regulus, with Remus following on behind.

The bedroom door closes behind the three of them.


	4. The Perfect Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is my own take on The Black family.  
> Let me know what you think of them in the comments.

Sirius can't stop looking at Remus even as he walk down the stairs he minds himself casting the odd glance over his shoulder.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Regulus whispers through gritted teeth.

But Sirius barely hears him as he angles his head around Regulus to get a better look at the boy that is following them, the boy who is wearing a tatty mustard coloured jumper over a pair of red and white striped pyjamas.

"Moony, it's only six o'clock and you're already in your pyjamas."

Sirius punctuates this statement with a roll of his large eyes.

"It's Christmas Eve and I'm cosy, besides it's not my fault, you imagined me in this. You like me in this."

What a scandalous lie, if Sirius was about to imagine him the last thing it would in, would be those ratty, tatty old pyjamas that he wears practically every night, and that horrible jumper that he would like very much to see burned.

He's on the point of putting Remus straight on just a few of these points when he catches sight of Regulus watching him.

He closes his mouth and slides his hands into his pockets.

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Regulus asks with an edge clear in his voice, Sirius recognise that edge and he knows exactly what it means, because The Black family have a habit of talking to themselves.

Their Grandfather had been famous for conducting long and verbose conversations with thin air, while they'd both shared the experience of walking in during one of their Mother's whispered conversations with the walls.

Talking to yourself is never a good sign, but for The Blacks it's merely a stepping stone to full blown madness.

Sirius is saved by having to answer the difficult question by his Mother who waits for them at the bottom of the stairs.

She's draped in black velvet, with her dark hair hangs at her shoulders in coiffured wave, and she looks every inch the evil queen torn from the pages of some Muggle fairytale.

"What's this I hear about Kreacher being forced to chase you all over the house?"

She addresses Regulus, because she only ever talks to him, and she stares straight through Sirius.

"I've never seen your Mum this close before."

Sirius holds his breath as he watches Remus edge around him to stare at his Mother.

His palms grow sweaty as he waits for her to react, but there's nothing, and she pays Remus as much attention as she pays him, which is to say absolutely none.

He finds himself breathing easier and doesn't listen to Regulus' reply, but whatever it is it makes their Mother smile.

"Oh!"

Remus says.

And without thinking Sirius replies quickly.

"What, what is it?"

It's a terrible mistake, one which he realises the moment the words have left his mouth and his Mother's gaze has snapped towards him.

"You look like your Mum when you smile."

Remus observes, his voice sounding very distant.

She doesn't blink, she just runs her gaze over his body, as she silently observes his wrinkled suit, and his hatless head.

"Look what Kreacher found outside."

Sirius' Father steps into view a glass of fire whiskey in one hand and the discarded hat in the other.

She doesn't miss a beat dragging the hat from her husband's hands she places it roughly onto Sirius' head, before turning her back on him to face the front door.

Sirius' feels his cheeks flush.

"Open the door."

She tells Kreacher in a voice that drips with barely surpressed rage.

The grotesque House Elf twists the door handle and on the other side of the door Sirius' sees the familiar outline of his Aunt and Uncle, a tall, elegant, middle aged woman with blonde hair, and an older man who looks every inch a Black.

At his Aunt's neck Sirius sees the shimmer of a large iridescent opal, The Black Family Opal to be precise, and a bone of furious contention between his Mother and her older brother.

He can feel his Mother bristle at the sight of the gem, while Druella, his Aunt does a wonderful job at pretending not to notice.

It's hard to deny that the opal perfectly accentuates Druella's icy blue eyes.

"Sister."

Sirius struggles to keep the smile from his face as he watches Druella embrace his Mother, his Mother, whose posture is now beyond poker straight, and who he knows absolutely loathes her sister-in-law.

"That was impressive."

Remus grins at Sirius, who tries very hard to ignore him, however he can't help but agree with this observation wholeheartedly.

The two women part quickly, and things are altogether warmer between Druella and his Father, who embrace like old friends.

"Wally."

His Uncle Cygnus address his Mother with a curt nod, and he notices that neither sibling embrace.

Druella squeezes Regulus' cheeks and she fixes Sirius with an unreadable smile.

"My goodness, haven't you grown."

Druella makes a point of speaking to Sirius whenever she sees him, and he is in no doubt that this is to annoy his Mother, rather than to play the role of the good Aunt.

Despite this however Sirius fixes her with a wide smile, which perfectly disguises the fact that he will never forgive her for casting his favourite cousin, and her own daughter, out of their family.

He steals a quick glance at Remus, and as he does he thinks of Andromeda and Ted Tonks.

He'll have to choose one day, but unlike Andromeda he knows he'll be happy to bid farewell to the nest of vipers he has as blood relations.

Following behind his Aunt and Uncle is his cousin Narcissa, the youngest of the three Black girls and the only one to still have the name.

Unlike her sister who both favour The Black side of the family in looks and colouring, Narcissa is a Roiser like her Mother through and through, from the blonde hair to the wide blue eyes.

Sirius has mixed feelings towards her, always has.

He doesn't like her the way he did Andromeda.

He certainly doesn't loathe her in the same way that he does Bellatrix.

There's just a void instead of emotion whenever he thinks of her.

He doesn't know her, has never known her, despite their closeness in ages, there's only three years between them, with Narcissa having only recently turned nineteen.

Nineteen and she's already off the marriage market, her parents hadn't wasted anytime at all in substituting one daughter for another, when Andromeda's betrothal to Lucius Malfoy had been broken.

He watches her as she fixes each of them with the same full smile, however when she reaches Regulus the expression on her face becomes something altogether more genuine as clearly she is pleased to see her little cousin.

He wonders how Narcissa really feels about ending up with her older sister's sloppy seconds.

Sirius feels himself leaning forward along with Remus and Regulus to get a better look at Narcissa's fiancee.

At the sight of Lucius Malfoy dumping his coat on top of Kreacher, Remus whistles through his teeth.

"Merlin, it's 'Evil Barbie and Ken'."

Sirius doesn't fight particularly hard to keep himself from laughing, and as the chuckle leaves his lips he earns a number of glances from his assembled family members, which come with their own distinctict meanings attached.

His parents glare at him with a mixture of loathing (his Mother) and annoyed exasperation (his Father), while Regulus just seems afraid.

He's making a fool of them, and they'd all rather, even Regulus, wish he was there.

He knows how they feel because he wishes he wasn't there.

If he could choose he would want to be with James and The Potters, to spend a proper Christmas with people who actually want him in their lives and in their home, and not just as a result of quirk of birth.

No, actually he'd quite like to wake up tomorrow morning, Christmas morning with Remus Lupin by his side, but without him he'd happily make do with The Potters.

Sirius' suspicious are confirmed about Malfoy, who presents his Mother with what appears to be a large bag of presents.

"Mrs Black, thank you for welcoming me into your fine home."

His cool, calculating gaze shifts around the hallway, and Sirius can't shake the idea that he is judging them all, and finding them all lacking.

It's a rare and unusual experience, not for Sirius who is always lacking apparently, but he's never seen anyone look at his family like that before.

He likes it.

He may actually like Lucius Malfoy.

No.

No, that's stretching things a bit far, utterly too far, since Malfoy appears to be a slimy git, but still it is a wonderful Christmas present.

His parents seem not to notice, his Mother is too busy palming the gifts off on Kreacher, who has managed to extricate himself out from under Malfoy's coat.

Sirius smiles at Remus, he can't help it.

He openly smiles at his invisible, rubbish boyfriend, who grins right back at him.

No-one seems to notice, with his Father leading their guests through into the drawing room, while his Mother pretends to enjoy the company of his Aunt, and Regulus talks in a very quiet voice to Narcissa and Malfoy, while Sirius as usual hangs around in the background enjoying the ambiance that comes from being surrounded by a bunch of absolute liars at the most magical time of the year.

"This is the best Christmas Eve ever, so much better than last year, when I was chained up in the basement."

Sirius watches as Remus suddenly covers his hand over his mouth as if he's accidentally let something slip.

The realisation slowly dawns upon Sirius that he's never thought of what it's like for Remus when they're not at school and the change is upon him.

Of course he worries for him.

But the idea of Remus being chained up in a basement makes him feel suddenly desperately unhappy, when they should be running free together, always.

But he didn't know that, he didn't know about the basement or the chains, so how does his imagined version of Remus?

"Moony,"

"I'm here and I'm late, and it's Rodolphus' fault as usual."

The throught slips from his mind as his oldest cousin, Bellatrix sweeps through the front door and straight through the imaginary Remus, who quickly fades away.

The front door slams closed behind her, and Sirius hears the familiar sound of Rodolphus Lestrange's startled cry.

Rodolphus who is in every way the complete position to Lucius Malfoy.

Just when Sirius had feared that he had lost Remus for the evening his 'rubbish boyfriend' slowly flickers back into existence at his side.

"That's your cousin Bellatrix?"

Remus asks, as if nothing had happened.

Sirius knows that there is something he wanted to ask Remus, but the thought slowly slides out of his head.


	5. All Your Ideas Are Actually My Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short update.

"I'm going to miss you McKinnon."

Amycus exhales the words in a satisfied and blissed out little puff, as he leans back into the kitchen chair. 

A grin crosses his face as he watches Rory struggle to put his clothes back on while at the same time smoke his favourite Muggle cigarettes.

In the end he gets up from his chair, closing the space between them, and pulls the cigarette out of Rory's mouth, placing it in his own, as the other man drags his Christmas jumper back over his head.

Amycus takes a long drag of the cigarette, exhaling a grey tinged plume of smoke as he laughs at the sight of Rory's head popping up through the neck of the jumper.

"I'm sure you'll survive, and I'll be back on New Year's Day."

Rory says, as he steals back his cigarette, but not before he has grabbed the front of Amycus' jumper and pulled him into a lingering kiss, which is designed to remind Amycus of exactly what he will be missing.

It's such a bloody shame that Rory had to be a Half Blood, and not a proper wizard.

Amycus ruffles his hand through Rory's scruffy brown hair.

"Do you want this back?"

Amycus asks, as he points towards the front of his Christmas jumper, no Rory's, it's one of Rory's naff jumpers that had been knitted for him by his Mudblood Grandmother.

"Nah, I think I'm going to stick with this one, you can keep it."

So he does.

He keeps the Mudblood's jumper.

Amycus watches as Rory puts on his coat and wraps his Slytherin scarf back around his neck, remembering to use his wand as he waves the presents on the kitchen table back into his arms, it's as if he's doing everything but in reverse.

He doesn't want him to go, because he never wants Rory to leave him.

"Right I'm off then, try not to burn down the flat while I'm away, and that present is for you."

Before Amycus has the chance to respond Rory apperates out of their kitchen cigarette and all, leaving no trace behind.

His gaze shifts to the table where he sees what appears to be a small box wrapped in brown paper and waiting just for him.

He's on the point of reaching out for his gift when he hears a knock on the front door.

Stowing Rory's present in a nearby cupboard, he opens the door with a snap and finds his Mother, resplendent in leopard print robes, and younger sister, Alecto, waiting for him on the other side.

His Mother fixes him with one of her stares, which always makes him feel as if she can see right through him.

"Please come on in."

Alecto fixes him with a smile, clearly keen to leave behind the freezing atmosphere of the hallway for the warmth of the flat, however their Mother holds her back.

"Is the Half Blood in there?"

His Mother asks in a knowing tone of voice.

She never fails to refer to Rory as The Half Blood, or That Half Blood.

Despite the fact that he knows a good number of Half Bloods that make up the ranks of The Dark Lord's Death Eaters, he knows that his Mother is of the opinion that no-one other than Pure Bloods should be considered true witches and wizards.

Amycus doesn't even bother to argue the point.

"No."

He says, as he drags a hand through the back of his slick blonde hair.

He can't help but notice that Alecto's teeth are chattering with the cold, as their Mother holds her firm.

"He's not here, he's gone home for Christmas."

His Mother rolls her large blue eyes in disgust, but satisfied by this response she let's go of Alecto's arm and the girl rushes before her into the flat.

"It smells in here."

His Mother observes as she leans up to plant a kiss on both sides of his face, and he notices that she is wearing black leather gloves.

Amycus doesn't get the chance to stop Alecto from making herself comfortable on the very chair that he had been having sex with his Half Blood lover Rory, moments before, as he Mother is giving him an appraising glare.

"What are you wearing?"

She asks her question with an arched eyebrow.

Amycus has learned through a lifetime of bitter experience that an arched eyebrow from his Mother is a dangerous thing.

Fuck, he's forgotten the Christmas jumper!

He glances down at the offending article.

"I'm hungry, can I have something to eat?"

Alecto calls from the kitchen, as she begins to rifle through the kitchen cupboards.

"Absolutely not!"

Their Mother barks.

It's enough of a distraction for Amycus to remove the jumper and hide it quickly with the aid of his wand.

As his Mother turns back to look at him, she appears to have forgotten all about the jumper.

"Are you wearing that?"

She asks, pointing a leather gloves finger towards the crinkled fabric of his white shirt.

Before Amycus has to answer her question Alecto begins to complain again about being hungry.

"Mother, hasn't let me eat anything all day."

Alecto grumbles miserably.

"It's for your own good! And it could be a lot worse. My Mother, your Grandmother, had me on a ration of bread and water for four months before I married your Father, and if she wasn't such a poisonous bitch I'd probably be grateful."

Their Mother gives a titter, and Amycus barely conceals a smile as Alecto sticks out her tongue.

"Yes, but I'm not marrying Sirius Black tonight, so why can't I have a biscuit?"

She's got a point, but this point is ignored by their Mother.

It comes to him then Rory's helpful suggestion, as he'd ridden Amycus cock on the very same chair that Alecto is now fidgeting on.

"Mother, I've had a thought about our meeting with The Blacks tonight."

That's a lie, but it's not the first time that he's taken one of Rory's ideas for his own, besides it will be much better coming from him.

She stares up at him her interest piqued.

"Oh really, go on."

So he does.


	6. Rubbish Invisible Boyfriends

"Look at this,"

Sirius watches as Bellatrix addresses the room and produces from thin air something that suspiciously looks like a pamphlet.

Remus tries to get look at the title but is frustrated as Cygnus retrieves it from his daughter's grasp.

"Nonsense."

Cygnus makes a tutting noise between his teeth as his gaze rakes over the parchment before him.

"Blasphemy is what it is Daddy."

Bellatrix corrects her Father in that annoying 'baby' sounding voice that always raises Sirius' hackles.

He feels as if he is the only person in the room who has noticed that her useless lump of a husband Rodolphus, has yet to manage to open the front door.

"Now Bella darling, just a little more,"

Bellatrix's Mother Druella pauses briefly from addressing her daughter as Sirius Father tops up her glass of champagne himself.

"...can we please spend an hour without your politicking?"

It sounds like a question, but Sirius knows his Aunto to well not to recognise an instruction when he hears one.

While his Father works on one side of the room, Kreacher is at the other end with a silver platter of canopies balance precariously on the top of his head.

At her Mother's command Bellatrix silently fumes, blowing a lose tendril of curly hair out of her face as she folds her arms across her chest.

Sirius is taken aback as Remus gives a bark of laughter at the sight of his cousin.

"You always made her sound terrifying,"

He muses with a wide grin.

"...an evil and manipulative Death Eater,"

Sirius notes that Remus drops his voice into a whisper as he says the word Death Eater.

"...you never mentioned anything about her acting as if she was nine years old!"

Remus adds with a final flourish.

He has to admit, as he gives Bellatrix some considerable side eye, Remus does have a point.

"Perhaps, someone should assist Lestrange?"

Malfoy enquires, as he reclines luxuriously across the green satin sofa next to his fiancee.

"Is he always so useless?"

Remus asks, as he points in the direction of the front door.

"She probably put a sticking charm on it."

Sirius observes, as he attempts to articulate through clenched teeth.

He's not the only one who suspects this as a moment later he hears Cygnus says his daughter's name in a voice full of knowing.

"Bella."

They stare at each other, Father and daughter, for a moment before Bellatrix is the one to give in first.

"Oh very well!"

She slams her champagne glass down so hard on a nearby table that Sirius is surprised that the stem of the glass doesn't break, before flouncing off in the direction of the front door with her ugly wand drawn.

A moment later Rodolphus practically falls through the door, panting and red faced.

From the sofa Sirius hears Malfoy titter and even Regulus attempts to conceal a smile, Narcissa is as ever unreadable, while his parents, Aunt and Uncle all pretend not to have noticed.

"Very funny, my love."

Rodolphus attempts to laugh along, but makes the mistake of trying to lean forward to kiss his wife's cheek, but to add insult to injury back ducking out of the way.

"They're gastly."

Remus says, as he looks at the pair.

"Aren't they."

Sirius muses as he takes in the full horror of his blood Relations assembled in the one room.

Bellatrix and Rudolphus walk passed Sirius as if they haven't seen him, which is all for the good in his opinion.

"Have you read this Lestrange, that cousin of your does seem to be making a nuisance of herself."

Malfoy says in a cultivated and lazy tone, as Rudolphus settles himself on the sofa next to Narcissa, who seems less than enthusiastic to have her brother-in-law so close.

"Oh, which cousin is this?"

Malfoy hands the pamphlet, which Bellatrix had brought with her, and that must have passed from Cygnus to himself with Sirius noticing.

Remus boldly walks to the back of the sofa to read over Rudolphus' shoulder.

"It's called A True History of The Sacred Twenty-Seven: How Lies and Paranioa Made The Pureblood Myth,"

Remus explains, as he glances excitedly back at Sirius, who smiles indulgently back at him.

"It was written by someone called Queenie Shacklebolt. I'd love to read that, do you think you could manage to bring it with you when you come back to school?"

Since everyone is too busy waiting for Rudolphus to finish reading, Sirius feels bold enough to answer Remus.

"No, you're a figment of my imagination steal your own reading matter."

His words however don't go unnoticed, as he ears a raised eyebrow from Regulus, who fixes him with a very strange expression.

"But I,"

"She's a wicked, lying, deluded bitch, who stole the wand that should rightfully be mine!"

Bellatrix's sudden shrieks interrupt Remus, who backs slowly away from the sofa and who comes to an eventual halt next to Sirius' side.

"You're right, she is scary."

Together they watch her as she goes on a tirade, that has something to do with some old wand in The Lestrange family having ended up in the possession of Rudolphus cousin, and how it was doomed to be past down through The Shacklebolt line unless they immediately resort to murder.

Bellatrix usually wants to murder someone.

It's the saga of The Black Family opal all over again, however this time with a wand.

Malfoy appears to be inclined towards the idea of murdering Queen Shacklebolt on Christmas Eve after their family dinner, however Rudolphus appears less than willing, and Narcissa is so disinterested that she leaves the group clustered around the sofa to stand next to Regulus in front of the fire.

Narcissa and Regulus fall into easy conversations as they each pretend to warm their fingers in the warning green glow of the fire.

Rather that curb the outlandish behaviour of their daughter, his Aunt and Uncle appear determined to ignore her ruckus, while his parents continue to play the role of benevolent hosts.

The whole situation is resolved as Kreacher bangs the gong for dinner, and Sirius' Mother gracefully rises to her feet.

"Dinner is served."

She tells her guests, as she allows herself to be escorted into the dining room by Sirius' Father.

"Not you, you come with me."

Sirius says, as Remus makes a move to follow the rest of the part.

He then proceeds to lead Remus out of the parlour, along the corridor and into the cupboard under the stairs.

"Well, you do know how much I enjoy spending time with you in cupboards."

In the gloom of the under stairs cupboard Sirius can easily imagine the smirk on Remus' face.

"Don't distract me with your peculiar brand of flirtation, Moony."

Sirius warns him with an equally wide grin.

"What is peculiar about my flirting?"

"Don't distract me."

Sirius warns him.

"I..."

"Ssush."

At this point Sirius would usually just kiss him to keep him quiet, which as he thinks about it is probably a bad thing to do, but, but, but he's lost the golden thread of his thoughts to the idea of kissing his boyfriend.

He hears a hitch in Remus' voice and he knows him so well that he know that he's building up to say something more.

"You're real aren't you? You're really here?"

He thinks that Remus might be on the point of refuting this accusation when Sirius hears him sigh heavily and he knows that he has given in.

"How did you know?"

Remus asks with a deflated sounding voice.

"Because I know you."

Sirius explains simply.

"I'd know you anywhere, Moony."

His voice feels tight as he finishes his explanation.

"Padfoot, I really want to kiss you."

Remus says with a husky sound voice that does something to Sirius' brain.

Because there is nothing more that Sirius wants that to be able to touch Mr Moony.

"Oh Merlin!"

Sirius exclaims feeling horribly desperate.

"How did we go on for so many years without snogging each other senseless?"

"We were idiots."

Remus observes with a laugh.

"This is amazing, how did you do this?"

Sirius asks as he tries to get his thoughts a little clearer, and the proceeds to shove his head through Remus' chest.

"You're not dead are you?"

He asks quickly.

"We'll be sexy ghosts together."

"No."

Remus says firmly.

"I'm not dead. I...um, I was meditating, or trying to, and the next thing I know is that I'm sitting on a chair in your bedroom and the only person who can see me is you. It's all a bit unnerving."

"You meditate?"

Sirius doesn't mean for that to sound like the only thing he has taken away from Remus' explanation, but well it sort of is.

"Not ordinary no, but Professor Dearborn suggested that I should perhaps try it for my 'furry little problem'."

"How long do you reckon you've got then, do you think you can stay all night? You could come up to my bedroom later and we could watch each other wank off."

Sirius gives this suggestion a little more emphasis with the waggle of his eyebrows.

"I'm not sure about how I feel about wanking in this horrible house."

"Trust me, you get use to it."

Sirius grins.

He remembers where he is now, that he doesn't just exist in this cupboard with his rubbish invisible boyfriend, but that his blood relations are probably seating themselves around the dinner table.

"Wanna come and watch me stuff my face?"


	7. Dinner With The In-Laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today.

Standing in the dining room of The Black family is an experience Remus had hoped never to have and yet here he is.

The room is lit with the greenish tinged glow of yet another blazing fire, which roars away in a fireplace that is surrounded by silver snakes, each of which appear to undulate in the flickering light, which sets his teeth on edge because he really, really doesn't like snakes.

It's probably not a phobia, but he can't say that he wasn't relieved when he didn't get sorted into Slytherin House.

His still remembers when his Dad had sat him down in his bedroom and explained to him about the various houses in Hogwarts.

His Dad had been in Ravenclaw, and he'd had a distinct bias towards this house hoping that his son would follow in his footsteps, however he'd explained that Remus would probably be able to make more friends in Hufflepuff.

His Dad hadn't bothered to mention would would happen if Remus was sorted into Gryffindor, but he had made it clear that Slytherin House would be the worst of all possible outcomes, especially when it came to his condition, and that if such a fate should befall his son, then he would be removed from Hogwarts.

All of which had terrified Remus completely.

For the first time he thinks of his parents, he's been so blithely enjoying this privileged glimpse into Sirius' home life at Christmas that he had never given them a second thought, but what if his invisibility is permanent.

Don't panic, he tells himself, enjoy the ambiance of so many sociopaths gathered around one table.

To take his mind of his predicament he turns his attention to said table, because he can't contemplate the alternative.

When he compares The Blacks feast to his own meagre Christmas dinner, which he has yet to enjoy, he finds himself coming up horribly short.

And then he looks closer and realises that their eating roasted Augurey and Mooncalf meat, which turns his stomach.

Remus notes with a surge of love and pride that Sirius is the only one not partaking in the hideous delicacies and instead has a plate heaped with herb covered boiled potatoes and veg.

That's his boy.

Sirius tackles eating the way he tackles everything else with gusto and little finesse.

"Well, I must say this Mooncalf is delectable, my compliments to our hostess."

Malfoy says, as he holds up his glass, which contains an emerald green liquid.

Walburga Black does an impression of being surprised and overcome by Malfoy's compliment, but Remus knows her face to well, and he can tell from the flint like glint in her eye that she'd expected his compliment much sooner.

It is startling just how much Sirius looks like his Mother.

"Here, here, you've put on another wonderful spread my darling."

Sirius' Father, Orion, joins Malfoy by holding up his glass from the opposite end of the table.

Orion Black's voice is filled with genuine affection for his wife, who flashes him one of Sirius' trademark dazzling smiles in return.

It's obvious to anyone that Sirius' parents are still very much in love, and Remus feels a pang as he realises that it's been a long time since he saw his own parents look at each other in the same way.

They both love him, but they're just not in love with each other anymore, they haven't been in a long time, and it's all his fault.

The sound of Sirius' snort distracts Remus from his darker thoughts.

There's a flash of something dangerous from Walburga as she glares at her eldest son, but this goes unobserved as the rest of the table lift their glasses.

Bellatrix bangs her elbow on the table and sends a silver knife clattering to the floor, as she raises her glass and mumbles a sulky sounding.

"Well done Aunt."

Even Sirius' raises his goblet of butterbeer, and fixing his Mother with a sugary sweet smile.

The last person to lift his glass is Rudolphus, who is too busy stuffing his face to notice anything else around him.

Bellatrix appears to relish the opportunity of elbowing her husband hard to get his attention, and as Rudolphus yelps in pain he overturns his glass, spilling green liquid across the table, staining the tablecloth and causing several of the dinners including Malfoy and Narcissa to step back from the table in fear of ruining their fine robes.

Regulus looks like he may be on the point of bursting into tears, while a peel of laughter rings out from Druella's direction.

Throughout all his chaos, Sirius takes the opportunity to finish off his potatoes.


	8. Parenting Advice From The All-Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a warning this chapter does hint a child abuse.

"Take my hand."

Amycus instructs his younger sister who looks back at him with a mixture of disgust and dismay.

"No. I'm not holding your hand, your my brother and that's disgusting."

Alecto retorts, and Amycus would very much like to give her a clip across the back of her head, but their Mother will definitely kill him if he disturbs his sister's confection of a hair-do.

"Take your brother's hand, I won't tell you again."

Their Mother interjects, and less than a minute later he feels Alecto slip her sweaty palm into his own.

Their Mother grabs Alecto from the other side and Amycus feels the familiar tug on his belly button as the world around him is pulled inside out.

Briefly he thinks he catches sight of Rory amongst the swirl, but he is quickly swallowed up and disappears.

The three of them are spat back out into the world.

"Who was that?"

He hears his sister gasp, and he realises with a sickening jolt that his sister and Mother have probably seen Rory too.

"We were going in the wrong direction. Who were all those people?"

Alecto continues, her pinched face twisting into a frown.

Amycus ignores her and runs a hand through his slicked back blonde hair as he attempts to compose himself.

He wants nothing more than to be with Rory McKinnon now, forever.

He wants to slyther inside Rory's skin, and for them to be forever one person, the same person.

It's never enough.

Nothing is ever enough.

He can feel his Mother watching him closely, and without saying a word he feels utterly exposed.

He'd almost taken them to Rory, he'd almost landed them in the middle of The McKinnons Christmas Eve party, and she knows.

"I must say you're being very irksome tonight, my darling."

Their Mother says, as she finally drags her gaze away from him to lay one gloved hand on his sister's pale cheek.

"I don't like him. I don't like Sirius Black. I think he's an idiot,"

"Well of course he is my darling, all men are fools."

Their Mother interrupts, and Amycus has the horrible feeling that she is thinking of him as she says those particular words.

"They're all base creatures, but we can us that to our advantage."

The three of the begin to make their way along the slippery pavement, the snow crunching beneath their shoes as they gingerly move along.

Amycus glances up at the glowing lights, which pour and flash from the windows of the Muggle homes around them, and his fingers itch to reach the hilt of his wand.

It's been too long since he had a Muggle to play with.

"He'll never marry me, he's already got a boyfriend."

Amycus drags his attention away from the windows to pay attention to his sister.

"That is no obstacle my love, and at least you know he won't make any unreasonable demands upon you."

Their Mother barely bats a long manicured eyelash.

Their Father had often made unreasonable demands upon his wife and children, that was until he'd made the mistake of using the Cruciatus Curse on Alecto and their older brother had finally snapped and killed him with a flash of green from his own wand.

It's the only time that their brother has ever shown himself worthy of The Carrow name, having been in retreat ever since behind the safety of his desk job at The Ministry.

"Is it Potter?"

Amycus asks changing the subject.

"That family are Blood Traitors."

He hears their Mother comment.

"Oh no, not him, it's Remus Lupin."

The name doesn't ring any bells, mind you all Gryffindors look alike to him, and then something horrible clicks into the back of his head.

"Wait,"

He pauses in his tracks to laugh, the air leaving his lungs in a cloud of steam, which reminds him of Rory's cigarette.

Alecto turns to stare at him.

"...hang on, is he the one who looks like a slab of tenderised meat in a Gryffindor jumper?"

"He's got these odd scars all over his face."

She clarifies to their Mother, who wears an unreadable smile.

"And these scars are permanent are they?"

Amycus is genuinely interested to see if his Mother will get there faster than he did.

Her scarlet smile fades.

"You mustn't say anything Mother dear, The Dark Lord is very keen on wolves at the moment."

She bows her blonde head to the will of their master.

"Well, he sounds charming."

Their Mother throws back her head and cackles into the snow filled night.

The rest of The Black family dinner passes in multiple courses of rare and exotic animals and tension so thick that Remus could cut it with a knife.

As the mysterious emerald green liquid flows Druella Black's lips loosen and she takes more and more overt swipes at her sister-in-law, turning all Walburga's triumphs into bitter ashes with the swipe of her back handed compliments and acid tongue.

The effect of the alcohol also has an unsurprisingly negative effect on Bellatrix, who appears to grow increasingly violent towards her lump of a husband.

No-one has noticed that Sirius, having finished his butterbeer, has started to fill his goblet with the grown-up refreshment, and Remus can't do anything but laugh as he watches his love grow increasingly drunk.

The best thing about this is that Remus doesn't have to deal with drunk Sirius himself, and it's when he starts hysterically laughing and offering to refill Bellatrix's glass over and over again that Sirius' Father notices that their may be a problem with his son, another one.

With a wave of his wand, Orion enchants Sirius' goblet to walk across the table and leap up into his hand where he examines the contents.

It's an interesting spell to use, when a simple accio would have sufficed, and it illustrates where Sirius gets his skills in transfiguration from.

"Sirius is drunk."

He observes with a tired sounding tone.

"Oh now I don't think there's any need to shame the boy."

Druella is frightening quick of the mark, keen to use this to her advantage.

"We've always let the girls partake in alcohol at the dinner table,"

Remus' notes that Narcissa's large grey eyes widen at her Mother's admission, she's clearly embarrassed.

"...perhaps you wouldn't have quite so many problems with him if you loosened the reins a little."

If he gets his transfiguration skills from his Father, Sirius' has inherited his quicksilver temper from his Mother, as Walburga snaps back without thinking.

"If I was you I'm not sure that I'd be so quick with the parental advice, after all didn't you used to have three daughters?"

Touche, Remus thinks as he watches a wave of reactions sweep across the table, which encompasses everything from outrage to amusement.

Druella falls silent, with an expression that looks as if Walburga has slapped her.

However as so often with Sirius, Walburga's triumph is short lived, as Cygnus takes over from where his wife had left off.

"You couldn't have done a worse job with the boy if you'd been trying."

He says in a harsh voice as he points at Sirius, who has stopped laughing and is now determinedly staring down at his dinner plate.

"I shudder to think what will become of our family once he is left as it's head."

Bellatrix gives a snort of agreement.

"And the other one's not much better, absolutely no bloody backbone."

The other one Remus assumes is Regulus, who suddenly appears horribly small, and who he finds himself feeling sorry for.

Finally the table slowly falls into a fractious silence, and suddenly his meagre family meal seems like paradise along with his parents martial problems.

The atmosphere that has grown oppressively claustrophobic is broken by the chime of the front door bell.

"Ah more guests, are we ever to be so blessed."

Druella sneers.


	9. Dark Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter.
> 
> Tbh I don't think I like it.

Sirius is the last to leave the table, and that's when Remus seizes his opportunity, finding themselves alone and together, after such a hideous dinner it feels like a lifetime since they had been standing in the cupboard under the stairs.

"Padfoot."

His voice rings out through the purged silence of the dining room, but Sirius doesn't react, he just continues to stare at the leftovers lying picked over across his plate.

Remus has never seen him like this before, it's as if the Sirius he knows so well, has retreated completely and that the thing left in his place and sitting on his chair is a shell.

Without thinking he drops to his knees next to Sirius, and wishes more than anything that he could reach out and touch him properly.

"Sirius."

He says, and his voice sounds thick.

He wishes that James was with them, because his connection is so much stronger to Sirius than his own.

He wishes he wasn't here that he'd never had to see 'The Black Family' Christmas.

The pep talk he'd given Sirius on The Hogwart's Express comes back to haunt him, and Remus feels unbelievable foolish, and not just that he feels callous towards the person he loves above all others.

"I didn't want you to see me like this."

Sirius whispers.

Remus reaches out to touch him but is frustrated as his hand slips right through.

"Like what?"

His brow furrows in confusion.

"The way they see me."

Sirius replies in a voice that sounds so small that Remus barely recognises it as belonging to him.

A chill runs down his spine at Sirius' words and he longs to take him in his arms.

Remus is hopelessly at a loss to know what to say, so he stops thinking, and does something completely out of character and just opens his mouth without a plan or a clear direction.

"I love you."

He hears himself say.

"You're reckless and unpredictable and frankly dangerous,"

"You're meant to be making me feel better about myself."

Sirius interrupts him, glancing up from his plate, a smile playing in the corner of his perfect mouth.

Instantly Remus feels lighter.

"Where was I? Ah yes, dangerous and,"

"This is why I like you as a solid, because I can stick my tongue down your throat to shut you up."

Sirius says as he leans forward with a smirk.

"Promises, promises."

And without realising it they have slipped so easily into flirting as a way to cover up some of their deeper feelings.

"You're also the best person that I know."

Remus concludes honestly.

He watches as the expression on Sirius' face changes.

He's never seen him look like that before, and Remus feels as if no words are suddenly big enough to adequately describe such an expression, but he does know that if he asked Sirius to run off a cliff with him, that he would happily to it.

Remus feels overwhelmed, so he does what he always does and pulls back.

"Moony I,"

Sirius' sentence doesn't get very much further as he is interrupted by Kreacher who appears in the room with a grimace.

"My Mistress bids me to,"

And then Kreacher abruptly stops, and his large watery eyes narrow in the direction of Remus.

"I think he can see me."

Remus observes as he pulls himself up to his full height, which would be much more impressive if he didn't have the habit of slouching.

His posture is terrible.

It all happens so fast that Remus feels his head spin, as he watches Sirius snatch a knife from the table and push the House Elf against the wall where he holds the blade to his throat.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?"

Remus asks in a strained voice as he glances between Sirius and Kreacher.

Sirius ignores him, and tightens his grip on the House Elf's grey throat until his eyes bulge dangerously.

"Can you see him, is there anyone else in this room. I order you, I order you to tell me."

He barks through clenched teeth, faltering once as if he can't bear to give Kreacher a direct order.

The House Elf's eyes roll in Remus' direction and he fixes him with a stare that is the definition of malice.

"Don't you dare look at him, look at me!"

Sirius gives Kreacher a hard shake, and his gaze snaps quickly towards his master.

Remus feels his heart leap up into his throat, because for the first time he has no idea how far Sirius will go.

"I forbid you to speak of this!"

Sirius address Kreacher before turning to look at Remus.

"We've been so stupid, we've been treating this like a game, but it's not a game. I don't want them to take you away from me."

He can see things begin to spiral out of control with Sirius, the way they had on Remus' fiftieth birthday, and just the way they always do, and he doesn't know what to do to make it all stop.

"Padfoot, no-one is ever going to take me away from you."

He tries to reassure him, but his words sound horribly uncertain even to his own ears.

"They will! They will, I know they will."

Sirius sobs desperately, and Remus feels some part of his heart break, all while Kreacher continues to turn a faint shade of blue.

Remus reaches for the hilt of his wand, and finds the pocket of his jeans frustratingly empty, but even if his wand had been within his grasp could he use it?

In the end he just stands there and watches a sobbing Sirius choke the life out of Kreacher, until, until he realises he's sitting back on his own bed.

"No, Sirius, no!"


	10. The Carrows Resplendent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is my final update until next week.  
> Enjoy.  
> Merry Christmas.

"Sirius, what are you doing?"

Before he realises what is happening Sirius feels himself being violently pulled back, his sweat slicked and desperate grip slipping from around Kreacher's throat.

Regulus' face swims before him.

"What are you doing?"

His brother's question is drowned out by the drumming of his own heart as he realises that Remus is no longer standing next to him, that he has vanished into thin air.

A horrible lonely longing fills him, and he tugs at the sleeve of his robes dragging the material down so that he is able to dry his eyes.

"He's getting on my nerves."

Sirius barks out a lie, and watches with sore, red rimmed eyes as Regulus looms over Kreacher protectively.

He can't see what Regulus does in the wretch.

"So you decided to attack him with a knife, what's wrong with you? Wait until Mother hears about this."

Regulus snaps pulls the knife angrily from Sirius' hand and places it back on the highly polished wood of dining table.

Sirius doesn't care about anything, without Remus it's all just meaningless.

He feels horribly numb and miserably disconnected from himself, and while he knows it's not normal to pin so much of himself and his happiness on one single person he also can't help himself.

Remus is his person.

"Your guests are here, The Carrows."

Regulus informs him with something of a glint as he helps Kreacher to his feet.

The House Elf fixes Sirius with a rage filled glare and Sirius is pretty certain that he will be made to suffer for this further down the track.

Sirius doesn't speak to his brother or Kreacher again he simply stumbles out of the dining room and into the grand parlor where Alecto, her Mother and brother are milling around talking to his blood relations.

Narcissa in particular seems to be getting on particularly well with Amycus Carrow, while Malfoy looks down his nose at the pair, leaving Sirius to wonder if he is jealous.

And then Sirius remembers that unlike Malfoy who is much older, that Narcissa and Amycus had been the the same year at Hogwarts.

"Come here now."

Sirius' Mother points a manicured nail at the ornate oriental carpet next to her, from where she obediently expects him to stand.

Shoving his hands into his pockets Sirius swaggers towards her, stopping on the spot his Mother had directed, while Alecto fixes him with a grimace, and he's oddly pleased to see that she finds this process as distasteful as he does.

He will never marry her, and he can't wait to see his parents reaction when the whole thing explodes in their smug, pale faces.

And speaking of pale, Alecto looks practically translucent.

"Why don't we leave the two lovebirds to talk."

Mrs Carrow suggests with a wide, toothy smile, which is surprisingly menacing for some reason he can't put his finger on.

"Perhaps we can have a moment?"

She asks his parents, and although she frames it as a question, Sirius hears it more as an order.

Mrs Carrow is clearly a brash and formidable woman, who is chronically aware of the power that she wields over his parents, after else there aren't any other Pure Blood families queuing up to have their daughters engaged to Sirius.

The Carrows are as good as it will get, and they know it.

Sirius' Father pushes him in the direction of Alecto and as he does so, he spots the faint superior smile on his Aunt Druella's face as she looks past Rudolphus Lestrange, who appears to be blathering away to her.

Amycus disengages himself from whispering sweet nothings into the shell of Narcissa, and follows Sirius' parents and Mrs Carrow out of the room.

"Do you want to sit down?"

Sirius points at a vacant pair of chairs, however Alecto ignores his offer instead and asks.

"Have you been crying?"

Her pinched face creases as she spits out her question like an accusation, clearly she's a firm believer that the worst thing anyone can do is give way to tears.

She quickly follows this up with...

"I don't like you."

Finally something they can both agree on.

"That makes two of us."

Sirius responds duly, as he throws himself into one of the empty chairs.

Seemingly startled by Bellatrix's loud cackle of laughter, Alecto quickly settles herself next to Sirius, who is oddly gratified to see that she is afraid of his cousin.

He watches as Alecto glances around the room and he tries not to think of Remus.

"What do you like then?"

Sirius asks.

"Pain."

Alecto replies quickly, and Sirius thinks that it's very forthcoming of her.

"I like pain."

He finds himself laughing a cold, bitter, hollow little laugh.

"Well, my dear, I can promise you a lifetime of that."

He grins at her.

Remus almost sheds his skin as his bedroom door is thrust open.

"Dad and I are off to bed now, cariad."

Mum says as she appears in the doorway all warm smiles and in her oversized faded floral dressing gown.

"Are you alright, cariad."

She asks with a concerned expression.

Remus hates it when his Mum looks like that, it breaks some part of his heart, because all he has ever wanted is for her to be happy.

He finds his voice and manages to croak.

"Yes, yes, I'm just tired. I'll see you in the morning."

It seems enough to satisfy his Mum, who makes her way into his room, where she brushes a strand of hair away from his forehead and plants a kiss on his head.

"Not to early tomorrow."

She smiles down at him.

"I can't make any promises, but I will try."

And then Mum is gone and he's all alone in his room again, and he wastes no time in pushing himself back up his bed, re-crossing his legs and closes his eyes.

He tries to close his eyes and think of Sirius at the same time, which is impossible. 

"No come on, come on, Padfoot."

In frustration he opens his eyes again, and finds himself stuck back between the four walls on his bedroom with no memory of how he got out in the first place.

"Please, please, come on stupid body just please for once do something that I want."

He pleads between tightly gritted teeth.

Madam Emma Bovary who had been sitting at the end of the bed leaps off the duvet and slinks across the room.

Remus closes his eyes again and tries very hard.


	11. Filthy Half Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's all...  
> Thank you for everyone who has been so supportive with my attempts at writing.  
> Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Remus has no idea how long it has been, but finally when he opens his eyes this time he finds himself standing in a horribly oppressive and dark landing that looks nothing like the cosy, cottage his parents have rented fro Christmas.

"Yes!"

He whispers enthusiastically under his breath.

But his enthusiasm quickly gives way to concern for Sirius, because the last time he had seen him he had been in such a bad way, that Remus had been genuinely concerned for Kreacher.

He hopes that he's not to late as he begins to make his way down the dark staircase.

The house is quiet and each of his footsteps seem to echo with a horrible creak.

For the first time since he arrived the house feels suspiciously empty and as he reaches the bottom of the stairs he realises that all of The Black's guests have vacated the building.

The trolls foot umbrella stand has fallen over, and he hears the far away sound of someone crying, someone who sounds a lot like him, but above that noise Remus hears voices.

"And to think that, that woman, thought she could just come here and throw her weight around."

He recognises Walburga Black's voice when he hears it.

"Who does she think she is, and more importantly how has she forgotten who we are?"

"Think nothing more of it my love."

Orion Black replies.

Remus decides that is probably best to leave Sirius' parents alone when...

"We should kill him."

And he finds himself being drawn out of the hallway and into the palor where he finds Sirius' parents sitting side by side on the sofa holding hands.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme. I for one feel relieved. I was starting to think that there might be something else wrong with Sirius, but at least now we know that he's perfectly normal in at least one regard."

Remus' brain stalls, because although he knows that Sirius' parents are the worst people, he can't actually believe that they would ever murder their own son.

"Filthy half blood scum is not what I would describe as normal."

Oh no.

Remus feels horribly sick.

"Now Wally my love, he's certainly not going to marry the boy, and I don't see any real harm in it, we all have our dalliance when we're young."

That's him, he's the 'filthy half blood scum', Sirius' parents must have been told about him, about Sirius, about their relationship.

Admits his growing sense of panic Remus spots the look that Walburga gives her husband, and it's one that he himself knows oh so very well from her son.

"Dalliances, what dalliance were these?"

Don't answer her Remus thinks.

"During our time at school."

Orion makes the mistake of answering her.

Wait, hang on it's him, it's Remus, that Sirius' Mother wants to muder.

Walburga's hand slips out of her husband's grasp.

"And were these dalliances of yours before or after we were betrothed?"

Remus' head spins, because it's quite and experience walking in on your own assassination being planned by the Mother of your boyfriend.

"Wally, we were betrothed at eleven,"

"I was twelve."

Remus hears Walburga interrupt.

"So you had all these affairs after our betrothal?"

"They weren't affairs, Wally, my darling, you're blowing this all wildly out of proportion."

That was exactly the wrong thing to say, and it appears that Sirius has inherited his ability to shatter glass merely by looking at it from his Mother.

Remus retreats back up the safety of the stairs as he hears Walburga begin to get into her stride.

With no idea, which door is supposed to lead to Sirius' room he turns the handle on the first one that he sees with a light under the door.

He twists the handle, which disconcertingly is int the shape of a silver snake and steps into the room.

"Oh Merlin am I glad to see you. I've had a terrible evening take off your trousers."

Sirius' voice floats up from his four poster bed.

Sirius' bedroom is so different from the rest of Grimmald place that Remus has the feeling that he could be standing in a completely different house.

"I feel like I'm having a glimpse of my future."

Remus grins, as he struggles out of his pyjama trousers. 

"We can only hope."

Sirius' smiles back at him as he pops up in the middle of the bed, raising himself up on his elbows.

Sometimes Remus finds it a little unnerving when confronted by just how certain Sirius is out their future, it's as if he has no doubts that they will be spending the rest of their lives together.

He wishes that he could be so certain.

It's not that he doesn't love Sirius, he does more than anything it's just that he has this vague feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Do you fancy a race?"

Sirius asks with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Remus who is still trying not to fall over and break his nose for the second time is barely listening, but he is wondering about two things...

1) can he break his nose if he's outside of his body?

B) won't Sirius' parents notice if they start running around the house?

And then he notices that Sirius is trying to do that suggestive eyebrow waggle.

Oh.

"Padfoot, I'm not sure how fast you can cum is something you should boast about."

Remus observes.

"You're just jealous Mr Moony. Besides the quicker I cum, the quicker we can do it again, didn't think of that now did you?"

"No, I didn't."

Remus admits, as he climbs under the covers next to Sirius, who turns to face him.

"This is odd because I know that you're here and yet I can't feel you."

He muses.

Remus rolls his body so that they are looking into one anothers faces, and all he wants to do is reach out and touch the beautiful boy who is lying next to him.

"What happened to Kreacher?"

He asks, as he silently wonders at how quickly Sirius' moods can change.

"I killed him and buried his body in the garden."

Remus' eyes widen as he watches the face of the boy next to him crease with laughter.

He doesn't believe him for a moment of course.

"You look startled, I like it."

Sirius muses.

Remus doesn't know how to respond to this.

"Reg stopped me after you disappeared, where did you go anyway?"

"Good for Reg."

He replies as he ignores having to explain what had happened.

"You missed The Carrows, Alecto and I had a very tender heart to heart."

Sirius' grey eyes glitter with mirth, and Remus wants nothing more than to pull him into a kiss.

He misses kissing him.

"You're parents know about us, one of The Carrows must have told them."

A shadow of surprise falls briefly over Sirius' handsome face, but he banishes it quickly with another smile.

"I'm sure my Mother was thrilled."

"She called me a filthy half blood."

"Well, she's got that right."

Sirius winks and Remus finds it impossible not to laugh.

"I really wish that you were here you filthy half blood."

He feels exactly the same way and yet...

"I have no desire to lose my virginity in this horrible house."

He admits honestly.

Sirius puffs out a little huff and rolls onto his back, where Remus watches him stare up at the canopy above their heads.

"I don't blame you."

He hears him say.

"Merry Christmas Padfoot."

"Merry Christmas Moony."


End file.
